Do I Follow My Head, Heart, or Gut? What to Do When You’re Not Sure What to Do

Big life decisions can feel overwhelming. You find yourself wondering: What’s the right choice? And sometimes, no answer feels entirely right—or entirely wrong.

On average, we make around 35,000 decisions every day—most of them automatic. What should I wear? What should I cook? Should I cross the road now or wait? These are quick, instinctive choices. But when it comes to the bigger decisions—relationships, careers, moving countries—our usual autopilot fails us. The stakes feel higher. The outcomes are less predictable.

In my twenties, the most difficult choices have been: 

• Is it time to leave a relationship that no longer feels right? 

• Should I quit a job that’s comfortable but no longer fulfilling? 

• Do I move abroad when everyone I know is settling down?

  
  

And recently, another question has surfaced:When should I move back to Australia?

This is a dilemma many expats in London face. Most of us arrive on two-year visas, with the option to extend—for a price. But the question remains: When is the right time to go home?

At the heart of the dilemma is this—I love my life here in London. I’ve made beautiful friendships, built a lifestyle I adore, and there’s something exhilarating about being in a city that’s always moving. At the same time, I miss the slower pace of my hometown. I miss my family. My cat. The comfort of a steady job and a higher income. These two lives—London and home—couldn’t be more different. It’s like living in two alternate realities, both offering something precious, both requiring a sacrifice. But I can’t live both at the same time.

So what do I listen to—my head, my heart, or my gut?

My head says it makes sense to go home after two years. I need financial security. I’m tired of living week to week.

My heart is torn. I’ve built a life here that I love. Do I soak it all in now and return later? Or do I keep chasing this version of happiness?

My gut says: Not yet. It’s not time to decide. When the moment comes, I’ll know. I trust that.

And that’s the thing about decisions. Sometimes it’s not about making the perfect choice. It’s about making a choice that feels right enough for who you are right now. Eventually, I realised this: whatever decision I make will be the right one—because I’ll make it with intention. With both my heart and my head in the room.

I was listening to my favourite podcaster the other day—Alexis Fernandez (if you haven’t heard of her, look her up immediately)—and she said something that really stuck with me: the average person has seven different lives where they would feel incredibly fulfilled. Seven completely different paths. That blew my mind. It reminded me that there’s not just one right way to be happy or successful. There are multiple versions of a life that could feel just right. That takes the pressure off, doesn’t it?

Looking back, in most of my big life decisions, I’ve noticed a pattern: if my body is aching for change—if the question should I stay or should I go? keeps circling—then I usually need to go. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, a friendship, or a lifestyle. The times in my life when I’ve been truly content, the idea of leaving hasn’t even crossed my mind. So when it does, I pay attention. That’s not to say we should quit everything the moment doubt creeps in—but we also shouldn’t ignore our inner voice. It’s trying to tell us something.

At the end of the day, I think I’d rather live many different lives—try different countries, careers, friendships, and hobbies—than settle into one that just feels good enough.

As the old saying goes: when one door closes, another one opens. Saying goodbye to one chapter of your life can be tough. But what’s on the other side of the next door? It could be just as beautiful—or maybe even more.

So if you’re standing at a crossroads, wondering which voice to trust—maybe it’s not about picking one. Maybe it’s about listening to them all, then deciding which voice feels the strongest, the clearest, or the kindest to your future self.

Because that is the decision that will take you home—wherever that may be.

A x