As I celebrate my 26th birthday this week, I find myself looking back on my journey that brought me here. The early twenties—a time of inevitable challenges. While each of us navigates this period in our own way, I'm compelled to share my personal insights gleaned from this transformative chapter of life. These are not universal truths, but rather, lessons learned through my own experiences and trials.
1. Prioritising Experiences Over Possessions
In hindsight, I've come to embrace the philosophy of valuing experiences over material possessions. Reflecting on the chapters of my life thus far, it's evident that the true richness lies in the intangible moments shared with loved ones and the adventures embarked upon. The fabric of my fondest memories is woven with threads of family gatherings, laughter-filled moments with friends, pursuits of personal passions, and journeys to far-flung corners of the globe. These are the experiences that have left an indelible mark on my soul, enriching my life in ways that no material possession ever could.
In contrast, I've found that possessions—be they trendy couches or state-of-the-art TVs—pale in comparison to the depth and significance of the experiences that fill my cherished memories. While material items may offer fleeting satisfaction, it is the enduring joy derived from shared adventures and meaningful connections that truly nourish the spirit. From cycling to the Eiffel Tower with newfound friends, to savouring precious moments with my family in Margaret River, to swimming in the mystical waters of the Loch Ness and traversing frozen lakes in Germany with my brother, these are examples of the moments that have shaped my perspective on life and imbued it with a sense of wonder.
2. Embracing Self-Sufficiency
In the pursuit of happiness, I once believed that the approval and validation of others held the key. Growing up as a people-pleaser, I dedicated myself to meeting the expectations of those around me, seeking their praise and gratitude as fuel for my own sense of fulfilment. However, this dependence on external validation proved to be a fragile foundation upon which to build my happiness. I made a conscious decision to reclaim control of my own happiness, to shift the focus from external validation to internal contentment. I’ve learned that the key to happiness lies within myself—that I am the architect of my own joy, capable of nurturing my own sense of fulfilment independent of external influences.
3. Hardships for Happiness
In life, it's often the toughest moments that propel us toward necessary change. Moving to the other side of the world is no small feat; it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. I vividly recall locking myself in the bathroom on Boxing Day, overwhelmed with emotion as tears poured down my face. I wanted to shield my sadness from others, as if admitting my departure made it too real. Every glance at my sister triggered fresh tears, as the reality sunk in that I wouldn't see her again for a long time. The unknown is riddled with challenges and farewells. Yet, it's precisely these trying times that fortify us, enabling the creation of a life brimming with authenticity and opportunity.
4. Dreams Require Sacrifice
In the pursuit of our dreams, we inevitably encounter moments that demand sacrifice—actions or decisions that challenge our comfort and push us beyond our limits. It's a fundamental truth of chasing our aspirations: the journey is rarely without its trials and tribulations.
Following your dreams requires a willingness to confront the uncomfortable, to tackle tasks that may seem daunting or undesirable. There are times when the path to success necessitates stepping outside of our comfort zones, embracing uncertainty, and making difficult choices that test us. It’s important to recognise that these sacrifices are not in vain. They are the currency we invest in our dreams, the fuel that propels us forward on our journey to fulfilment. Every challenge overcome, every discomfort endured brings us one step closer to realising our aspirations.
5. Freedom in Singleness
Singleness has been a revelation for me—an opportunity to rediscover myself and chart my own course. In the comfort of a long-term relationship, I once believed I had a firm grasp on my identity and desires. Yet, upon closer inspection, I realised that familiarity had bred complacency, stifling my curiosity and inhibiting my growth. I revelled in the ability to be unabashedly selfish—to pursue my passions and curiosities without reservation. From impulsively relocating to Notting Hill, inspired by childhood nostalgia, to impulsively jetting off to Germany, France, and Scotland with abandon, I embraced the exhilarating freedom of choice. Now, as I revel in the newfound autonomy over my finances, I relish the ability to allocate my resources according to my own desires. From indulging in dream vacations to Greece and Croatia, to investing in experiences that enrich my soul, I savour the sweet liberation of financial independence.
6. Reinventing Oneself
Moving to the other side of the world isn't a magic solution to life's problems, but it does offer the opportunity for profound personal transformation. While your mental health journey accompanies you wherever you go, the unfamiliar surroundings and newfound freedom serve as agents of transformation. Since relocating abroad, I've embraced the opportunity to cultivate new friendships, explore new hobbies, begin the pursuit of a new career path, and adopt a completely revamped lifestyle. The distance from familiar surroundings creates space for the cultivation of new habits and perspectives.
7. Unconventional Happiness
Before I embarked on my journey abroad, I encountered well-meaning advice urging me to invest in stability: buy a house, establish roots, secure financial stability. Yet, instead of following the conventional path, I opted to discard these expectations and purchase a one-way ticket—a decision that some viewed as a quarter-life crisis. Contrary to societal norms, I found profound emotional liberation in relinquishing the burdens of responsibility and debt. Despite lacking material possessions and financial security, I discovered a depth of happiness previously unknown to me. Here in London, life is akin to the wonderment of a child encountering the world for the first time, unencumbered by the constraints of my past self and free to explore uncharted territories.
8. Life's Milestones in the Age of Comparison
In the age of social media, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparing our lives to the curated highlight reels of others. Instagram can serve as a double-edged sword, offering glimpses into the achievements and milestones of our peers, while simultaneously fuelling feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Scrolling through feeds populated with images of second babies, second houses, extravagant weddings, and skyrocketing careers can evoke a sense of being perpetually behind. It's a subconscious game of comparison, where every stage of life seems to be measured against an elusive standard of success.
But the truth is, no matter where we find ourselves on life's journey, there will always be another milestone on the horizon. If we're single, we wonder when we'll find someone. If we're engaged, we're asked when the wedding will be. Once baby number one arrives, thoughts inevitably turn to baby number two. And for those who've bought a house, the question lingers: where will the next one be?
The cycle is endless, a relentless pursuit of the next milestone, the next achievement. Yet, amidst the flurry of societal expectations and self-imposed pressures, it's important to remember that life's milestones are not a race to be won, but a journey to be savoured. Each stage of life holds its own joys and challenges, its own triumphs and lessons. And in embracing the beauty of our own unique path, we find liberation from the shackles of comparison and the freedom to define success on our own terms.
9. The Twists of your Twenties
Feeling adrift in your twenties is more than okay—it's a shared experience for many. I once held the belief that by the age of 26, I'd have all the pieces of life neatly arranged: a partner, a home, and a flourishing career. Yet, reality looks different. None of those expectations have materialised for me. However, amidst the uncertainty, I've discovered invaluable treasures: a loving family and a tight-knit circle of friends who offer unwavering support and affection. In moments when I question my trajectory, gratitude becomes my guiding light—a beacon of solace and strength amidst the storm of uncertainty.
10. Embracing Failure as Fuel
Learning to embrace rejection and failure is a crucial aspect of personal growth and resilience. Reflecting on my journey, I recall struggling with crippling social anxiety during my high school years. The pressure to conform to societal expectations weighed heavily on me, particularly in the environment of a private school where success seemed narrowly defined. I felt suffocated by the need to fit a certain mould, to excel in specific subjects, to follow a predetermined path to university and beyond. The fear of failure and the constant pursuit of external validation left me paralysed with self-doubt, to the point where even the simplest tasks felt insurmountable. I vividly remember the physical manifestations of my anxiety, the breathlessness and dizziness that accompanied each step towards my locker in the morning. If I could impart wisdom to my younger self, it would be this: everything will be okay. The trajectory of your life is not determined by the choices you make in high school or the career path you embark upon. It's never too late to pivot, to chart a new course, to redefine success on your own terms. Life is a journey of constant evolution and reinvention.
As I celebrate my 26th birthday, I'm grateful for the journey that has shaped me. Each moment of my early twenties has brought growth and taught me invaluable lessons. As I look ahead to the future, I carry with me the wisdom gained from these experiences, ready to embrace whatever comes my way with optimism and an open heart.
Thank you for reading!
A x
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