The Paradox of Choice: Are Too Many Options Spoiling Our Happiness?

Hear me out.

I was charity shopping with my friend Anna today, and we started talking about how much better it is than going to places like Zara or Primark. Those retail stores have so much choice it is overwhelming. The same shirt can come in five different cuts, in every colour under the sun.

We have all been there in the nightmare that is shopping for new jeans. There are just so many choices. Mom leg, slim fit, cropped, bootcut, flare, wide leg. Then do you want light wash, dark wash, ripped or pristine? When you finally find a pair you like, you try them on only to find they are too tight around the waist but too long at the hem. So you slip them back on the rack and walk out, jean-less. 

When I was younger, Sundays were sacred. At 7:30pm, Doctor Who would come on once a week on the BBC. The wait made it exciting. Now we are drowning in streaming services with endless genres and original series. I have closed more apps than I have watched shows, opting for a mindless scroll through TikTok instead. Guilty.

We have all experienced food envy at some point. One of my favourite spots back home in Margaret River is La Scarpetta, an Italian place with a tiny menu. No pages of options, just a handful of delicious dishes. When the choice is simple, you eat with no regrets. Contrast that with a menu with endless options, where you wonder, “Should I have ordered the pizza instead?”

The same goes for dating apps. We are a generation of chronic swipers, judging photos, job titles, even texting styles. A 2017 University of Wisconsin-Madison study split singles into groups choosing from either six or twenty-four dates.

Those who picked from six options felt more satisfied and regretted their choice less. In big cities like London, endless swiping leads to exhaustion, indifference, or even random choices, none of which are great for meaningful connections. We chase the idea of a “perfect” partner, forgetting that no one is flawless. This is true not just for dating but also for work, hobbies, and friendships. The more we search for perfection, the more dissatisfied we become.

This is the Paradox of Choice, a term coined by psychologist Barry Schwartz. More options do not mean more happiness. Instead, they raise expectations and fuel doubt. We start thinking, “What if there is something better?” instead of investing in what we have chosen or being grateful for what we already have. Too many choices gives us the illusion that the grass is greener on the other side (Wrong. The grass is always greener where you water it). 

This idea applies to more than just shopping or dating. Even everyday decisions, like what to eat for dinner, can become overwhelming when the options are endless. Studies show that too many choices can lead to decision paralysis, where we avoid making a choice at all or experience regret afterward.

So how do we fight this? Should we limit our choices or shift how we think about them?

Barry Schwartz offers some practical advice. First, he suggest trying to limit your options on purpose. Instead of scrolling through dozens of choices, narrow it down to just three or four. This helps cut through the overwhelm and makes you feel better about whatever you end up picking.

Another important tip he recommends is to adjust your expectations. Forget about finding the perfect option because honestly, it does not exist. Instead, aim for good enough. This mindset helps stop the nagging feeling of regret or wondering if you should have gone with something else.

Schwartz also highlights the power of commitment. Once you make a choice, stick with it. Put your energy into making that decision work rather than constantly doubting yourself or thinking there is something better out there. This can actually make you happier and less stressed.

Finally, he suggests practicing a bit of gratitude (I am a massive advocate for practicing daily gratitude). When you focus on appreciating what you have chosen and the good it brings, it is easier to avoid falling into the “what if” trap.

I have noticed that much of what I’ve said in this blog contrasts my opinions when it comes to settling in relationships. I think it’s important to remember that when it comes to choices, less is certainly better. However, this doesn’t mean that you should ever settle for “good enough” in your career, relationships, friendships or lifestyle. You should always strive for what you deserve. That being said, when it comes to choices, it’s important to be aware of the psychology behind having too many, and how it can cause more harm than good.

So really, it’s not just about having fewer choices. It’s about changing how we see and connect with the options we do have. When we slow down, focus, and fully engage with what we pick, we open ourselves up to true satisfaction instead of restless searching. Happiness is not found in endless possibilities but in the richness of the moments and decisions we commit to. 

Sometimes, the freedom we crave comes not from more options but from learning to embrace and appreciate what is right in front of us. In a world overflowing with choice, maybe the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the courage to say, “This is enough.”

A x